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Ash Wednesday
March 1, 2006
Delivered by Reverend Sandra Stayner
Joel 2:1-2,12-17
2 Cor. 5:20b-6: 10
Matth. 6:1-6,16-21
Prayer is for people who haven't got it all together!
The first thing you should know is that God is interested in people who haven't got it all together - not because he loves to lord it over them, to make them pay for their insufficiencies - but because he can help them if they will let him. Oh I don't mean in a magical way, by waving an almighty hand and painlessly changing habits that have become deeply routed through years of practice, but as a friend might help another friend.
Roberta Bondi, a theologian and teacher of prayer says that one of the greatest obstacles to prayer is when we relate to God mostly in terms of duty. It is no wonder that we recoil from God if we treat God as a harsh schoolmaster who is bound and determined to make us obey him. No one willingly places themselves in a situation where they will be forced to do things they really don't want to do, and will be punished when they fail. God is all-powerful and able to make us do anything God wants us to, but that is not the way God has chosen to relate to us. In Jesus we see the kind of love he longs for us to experience, to give and to receive, the love of true friendship. "I no longer call you servants but friends."
A second obstacle to prayer is our image of God as a terrifying, judgmental being. We are cannot allow ourselves to spend time alone in the presence of God, for fear of what will be revealed about our true nature. We cannot bring the whole of ourselves to God because we cannot bear to face that we are less than lovely. We cannot bear to allow God's light to shine on the lies and deceit and manipulation that is a part of all of our lives if we are honest enough to recognize it. Because we understand God as jury and judge the best we can do is keep the most unlikable parts of ourselves hidden from God and from ourselves. As a young person it was almost impossible for me say "sorry" for things I had done wrong. Even now at times when I am in the wrong instead of saying sorry I get really angry and start blaming the other person for the things I've done. Some years ago when I was still and quiet before God, I remembered a time in my childhood when I had repeatedly done something wrong. As I said sorry having repeated the bad behavior for the umpteenth time my mother in exasperation said to me, "It's no use saying sorry now Sandra, it's too late after you've done it!" When I'm about to get unreasonably angry about something I remember those words and try to remind myself that God will always forgive us if we are really sorry, and intend to change our ways.
The third obstacle to prayer identified by Roberta Bondi is the fact that prayer is not a natural part of our conversation as families. We don't' talk much about prayer with or families, or even at church, so we don't learn from each other, or hear about each other's experiences. Perhaps one of our Lenten disciplines this year could be to make a covenant with our family or with a friend to spend a certain amount of time in prayer each day and share our experiences with each other perhaps once a week - what has been hard about it and what has been helpful.
Prayer is simply time spent in the presence of God with space for God to communicate with us, in other words time in which we are attentive to the presence of God. If you are not used to praying, or even feel unable to pray. You are not alone. We all feel like that at times. Sometimes we try to pray and we wonder if God is even there - it's like talking into a black hole. At other times we are able to sense the presence of God, we feel loved and cared for. Sometimes we are bursting to share with God some troublesome situation we are faced with and all we can do is talk and talk and talk, without leaving room for God to respond.
I want to suggest that each of us take the call to prayer seriously throughout this season. Be sure that there are three elements to your prayer each day. Read a portion of scripture, perhaps the psalms, perhaps the parables, or perhaps read through one of the gospels. You can take a copy of Day by Day and read the scripture and thought given for the day, or you can read the portion in the lectionary at the back of your prayer book. If you need help ask for it. When you have read your portion spend some time in reflection, asking yourself or God how this passage relates to your life.
Next set aside some time for conversation with God - not polite cocktail party conversation, but frank, honest conversation about the things that are really important to you - concerns, things that bother you, things you have done you wish you haven't, worries about children or significant others, and things you are excited and happy about. Find some time when you can really speak your mind to God, and then allow yourself a little extra time for reflection, time in which God might begin to respond to your concerns.
Thirdly give God some "kitchen time" time to simply be in God's presence without talking or thinking. This is a time for you just to show up. If you get ancy simply being quiet you might find some handiwork you can do, or perhaps whittling a piece of stick, anything that doesn't take too much thought. You may be surprised to find how much of prayer is simply showing up!
The Greek word used in our gospel story today that has been translated as "secret" is best understood as personal and private. This parable is encouraging us to be diligent in our personal and private relationship with God, something that happens most easily when we are on our own without distractions, a place where we can bare the deepest parts of our souls to God.
In this season of penitence and prayer we are invited to go deep within our souls, to clear out the debris of our hearts so as to draw closer to the one who created us. This is indeed a season of grace, a gift from the God who loves us more than we can ever imagine.
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